Vader Shows His Emotional Side
by DarthBetty
Summary: What if Vader had to raise Luke and Leah? The stories of the Skywalker family and their Spanish housekeeper. Vader yells at his children for not obeying him.Funny stuff.


"Dad can I go to the mall?"

"Only if you (breath) teleport."

"Jedi's don't teleport."

"My son will teleport because (breath) he has to be the greatest Jedi on the earth! (breath) For his…mother." (cries)

"Aw, dad stop crying again."

"I'm sorry. (breath) It's just that your getting so big now and (sniff/breath) you look so much like me when I was a scrappy young lad….(breath)"

"Shucks dad."

"I just love you so much, son." Vader goes to hug Luke.

"Dad, let go of me!"

"Oh sorry (breath) I forget that you are a young man now. (breath) You don't want an old fool (breath) like me trying to hug you."

Leah runs down the stairs in a tank top and jewelry dangling form her 'buns'. She heads for the door.

"Young lady (breath) Where do you think you are going in that outfit? (breath)"

"Over to Jerry's, Dad."

"Jerry? Who is that? You have not told me about a Jerry! (breath)"

"He's my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend!? What happened to that (breath) nice young Imperial Officer I set you up with?"

"Dad, you forced choked him." Leah replied in great annoyance.

"(breath) I did? When was that?" Vader rubbed his 'chin' in thought.

"3 days ago."

"Now, why would I do that? I don't remember…(breath)"

"He called you Iron Lung."

"That Bastard!" Vader clenches his fist and raises it to the skies dramatically. Then, he pauses and asks,

"What about Ferrel the Albino Dark Jedi?"

"On our first date he took me on an assasination mission!"

"Oh (breath) he was just trying to show off for you, precious."

Leah mumbles, "More like for the Dark Lord of The Sith"

"What was that!?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, my bad." (imagine Darth saying 'my bad'. Gets me cracking everytime)

Everyone was silent for a minute then Luke spoke up.

"Dad can I go to the mall?"

"Yes, (breath) and take you're sister with you."

"Dad, I don't want to go with that Scruffy Nerf Herder!"

"You will do as I say or you will both stay in the house and train for eternity!"

"Aww Dad…" The both cried.

"Don't you 'aww dad' me. Leah, (breath) what are you wearing in your hair!?"

"It's nothing Dad only some jewels."

"And what will all the young men think when they see (breath) those jewels and that tank top?"

"Dad, don't make me say it."

Vader makes a threatening hand gesture.

"They will think that I am a prostitute and not the daughter of the lord of the Sith."

"Exactly. (breath) I will not have the daughter of the Lord of the Sith (breath) become a common hussy. How will these men fear you when you grow (breath) into your power Leah?"

"Maybe I don't want my damn powers!"

"Blasphemy!"

"All you ever talk about is Padme this and Padme that and how I look so much like her and how I'm going to be the greatest Jedi on the planet and Blah blah blah. I'm sick and tired of hearing about the force."

"How dare you speak about your mother that way!"

Luke starts giggling.

"What is so funny young man?"

"Dad, can I go to the mall?"

"You scoundrel!" Vader flips over a table.

Enrique the short housekeeper runs in.

"_Senior_ are you botherings the childrens again?"

"Ah, Enrique you will soothe me. Come and sit beside me." They sit down. Leah and Luke look in astonishment at how moody their father is. Enrique sits in Vaders lap like a dog.

"Enrique, (breath) sing me a tune about when days were pleasant and these two HEATHENS didn't live in my house. (breath)"

"Yes, _Senior_."

"Dad can we leave now!?" Leah yelled at her father.

"Silence you insolent swine!" They barge out. Vader stands up in anger, throwing Enrique across the floor. He cries out in pain.

"NOOOO!!! Enrique!"

Vader goes to Enrique who lays dieing.

"My little Spanish pet. (breath) I have killed you."

"No _Senior_ it was my times. Thanks yous for givings me a job."

"Hush do not speak!"

"Come closer." Vader leans in.

"Closer." He leans in more.

"There is another Skywalker." He dies. Vader cries out in pain.

"Noooo! (breath)"

And no

Enrique and Vader aren't gay.


End file.
